Infinitely Interesting

This new fascination
consumes my mind.

this beautiful thing
I've been blessed with

this person, that i find
infinitely interesting...

this dynamic which is
otherworldly, exotic and rare.

my thoughts run to him
constantly.

My mind stays
consumed,
with ALL aspects of him...
his brilliant mind
his perfect humor
his always-right words
the look in his eyes when he stares at me,
the way his hands feel on me....
the manner in which energy is
*exchanged*, when he touches me.

It's electric, palpable...like nothing
I've EVER experienced.

a smile creeps on my face
at the 1st thought of him,
at the 1st glance at words he's said to me
such perfect, eloquent words.

such an incredibly fulfilling dynamic,
being made to feel genuinely
beautiful & appreciated, all the time.

I am so glad i found this. <3

the day my life was forever changed - 3.28.12

Today is a day that will go down in the history books. The history books of my life. Today solidified the culmination of 7 weeks of arduous work {well, today as in, 3/28...writing this 3/29}. Of continuous whittling down of resolve...of never losing momentum, or getting sidetracked from my goal. And....today, made it all worthwhile.

I've heard it for years, and never fully understood the scope of it. They say "when you know, you know", and when it's different, it's LEGIT different. As in, unlike anything you've ever experienced before - even remotely. It REALLY is different. It's perfectly fitting, it's effortless, it's intriguing...and exciting! It makes you feel alive, causes you to hunger/yearn for something, someone...the connection is unreal. And so enticing.

I'm so excited to embark on this journey, with such an amazing person by my side. As my beautiful teammate :) {or, Algirian ©, if you will}

"#FindSomeoneWho speaks the language of ur soul, understands the complexities of ur mind, & makes u want to be a better person." - me, tweeted 3/28/12 <3

whimsically delicious

life has a funny way of doing things,

a funny way of bringing you where you need to be

to allow for

what it is you deserve

to be revealed to you.


to condition you, and prepare you for

the next step that is to come.



Sometimes you meet someone that makes an impact.....someone that stirs your inner being. Someone that touches your soul, piques your interest, and intrigues you like no other. The fascination multiplies as you learn more, which in turn only makes you hungrier to...learn more. Insatiable. For this whimsically delicious thing that has presented itself. This too-good-to-be-true amazingness that you're soaking in....absorbing into your core, relishing in the realness. Overwhelming your senses and bringing forth an abundance of delight, and giddiness, and smiles, and butterflies.

It is an absolutely beautiful thing.

winds of change...

Breathe it in. Deeply inhale

let it out....

.....as smoke billows against, & around, the screen.

thoughts scramble

amidst my mind

this newfound sense of wonder, fascination

so utterly divine.


I feel my life about to change. i feel myself slipping into the next chapter...the new mindset. It's so very palpable, so real and identifiable.

I'm taking ownership of my life, taking charge of my health...dealing with my procrastinations and idiosyncrasies. Coming to terms with WHERE I'm supposed to BE in life.....and WHAT i'm supposed to *accomplish* in this life, {other than being a good person and living right daily.}

The winds of change have flirtingly doted on me, as of late. I feel pulled in certain directions, guided by strong intuitions...on a mission.

i feel like, i'm listening to my inner voice, finally. I'm finding dedication within, and strength i never knew i possessed. I'm up to the challenge of taking charge of my destiny, my future. I've always been one to methodically lay out my plan, and achieve my goals. So now, where i'm at right now...i just feel more secure in that, more sure of what i want. And, that - in itself - is super empowering. And that, to me, is what life is about...being empowered to live the life you've always dreamed of living

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you."

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." - Maya Angelou

I came across this quote tonight and...it stopped me in my tracks. Not only did it stop me, but it INSPIRED me. It made me want to write. It set my mind in motion...and, that's a pretty powerful thing, seeing as how it is now Feb 14th, 2012...and this is thee 1st blog entry I've made in 2012.

Ask me why I've procrastinated...i cannot tell you. All i know is that nothing as of late has inspired me enough to take to this blog, and open my mouth and let my thoughts fly out, splashing unabashedly onto the empty canvas that is this blog. It's my blog, my words...displayed however i want them to be seen....and, the only thing that's roused the writer in me enough lately is, this quote. This amazing woman. The wise words of this incredible poet/writer/dreamer/thinker...Ms. Maya Angelou.

Now, the other quotes of hers that hit me tonight, i will touch on later. For now, i need to delve into this first one, this....stop-in-your tracks, thought-provoking quote.

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you." It instantly made me feel like......'what untold story am i harboring, that I'm supposed to be telling..sharing! What is burdening or inhibiting me in my quest to make sense and enlighten? What do i need to get OUT....to deal with, and tell, and share?'

Hence, why i call this a thought-provoking question. Because it instantly set my mind aflutter...brought to the surface a plethora of questions, theories, and queries. Made me wonder...about my recent adventures, and about the lessons i've learned through them...the pain i've received at the hands of them...and how its all collaboratively brought me to where - and WHO - i am today. I am grateful for it all..but i feel like, there's a deeper meaning...a theme fulfilled, a lesson to be learned & shared. That is the path that I'm on, and i feel like the way to make sense of it all is to write more...think more...blog more. It WAS one of my New Years Resolutions, buuuuut...here's we are on month 2, day 14...and we're at...blog #1. Hahaha...i really do want to write more often. And about more pertinent/enlightening/ MOVING things.

So, i will strive for more frequency and better substance. Strive to attain as close to perfection as is humanly possible for me right now, at this point in my life. I'm still grasping to make sense of much of this journey....taking it one day at a time, relishing each day/opportunity. But i think writing more is definitely the key.

“This is my life. It is my one time to be me. I want to experience every good thing.” - Maya Angelou -
This is another quote that seemed particularly fitting for where i'm at in my life, currently. I want to enjoy this stage in my life...fully appreciate this time of exploration and freedom...to be liberated and to simply ENJOY all life has to offer.

“The idea is to write it so that people hear it and it slides through the brain and goes straight to the heart.” - Maya Angelou -
This....is how i want to write. Always. Period. Right thought the minds-eye, into the brain and straight to the heart. I want my writing to stir people's SOULS!!! To jolt them AWAKE & aware, to make them wonder...inquire...question.

To at least just START something into motion, in the minds and hearts of others. If i can do that, ultimately...then i have succeeded as a writer. To myself, anyways.

Which leads me to the last quote...and THIS is what i aspire to: “You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you.” - Maya Angelou

I intend to shine, through and through....taking whichever avenue, i am naturally led to. I intend to do BIG things in life overall. I want to make a difference, do something meaningful..live a good life and BE a good person. Those are my goals.

planetary pull

Something is in the air today.

Something inherent... implied. Something underlyingly aggravating, and grating to one's nerves.

Everyone is feeling it.

Literally, every single person i encountered today was having an emotionally trying day. Is it some sort of end-of-the-year closure, cluster-fuck energy-boom madness? Is it an imagined, yet universally felt last grasp to make sense of, and tie up loose ends to, all the complex situation that presented themselves over the course of 2011?

Is it literally a planetary pull, and/or some sort of sign from the Universe?

We may never know, BUT...i plan to ride it out.... and finish up 2011 with a bang. Tying up loose ends, getting organized...purging myself of thee bullshit.

Feels liberating. Invigorating. I'm starting 2012 on the right foot.

Footloose and fancy-free <3

el siete de diciembre

So much time lapses...where does it all go? Days meld into weeks, which become months and im so far out of touch with the outlet that soothes and heals me. I dont know why i dont blog more regularly...it's a goal of mine to start doing it more often.

But here i am....weeks removed from having last wrote on here, and i've run the full gamut of emotions and feelings in record time. I think that's why i havent written more. Because my head has been spinning, and i've been trying to make sense of everything and everyone i was encountering. Analyzing and thinking and questioning. Rationalizing and speculating....projecting and reviewing. Those are a lot of verbs, if you ask me! Tiring work...emotionally exhausting.

And to sit in retrospect and review the last few months...hell, the majority of this YEAR, and all the monumental life changes i endured...it's been a crazy ride, to say the least.

BUT, i must say im grateful for the direction in which my life is now headed. And although it was a painful journey...i definitely learned from it and am a better person because of it. One day ill recount the story, in all its glory. But, probably not for a while...i need to still make sense of it all first. Beautiful chaos...that is thee story of my life.

“You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.” - Friedrich Nietzsche <3

Take Care

The last few weeks have been especially trying for me...especially emotionally EXHAUSTING. I've lacked the closure necessary to allow one to move on, and, in that....remained in open-wound mode.

I'm usually very resilient, but...for some odd reason, that
knee-jerk, kick-back reaction hasn't....REACTED into place...
I haven't been able to bounce back...

So...3 weeks it has been...this friday makes a solid four. And, i feel that
I finally have a coping mechanism...a tool that will allow me to make sense of
the whirlwind of emotions i'm swirling in.

And that is Take Care. 21 tracks of amazing Drake goodness, as i had waited for the So Far Gone mixtape in Feb 2009, and Thank Me Late in June 2010...i waited anxiously for Take Care, in its Nov. 2011 release date. I specifically did not listen to the album when it leaked the weekend prior to official release.

I wanted to hear it in all if its uncut and uncensored glory. I didn't want to ruin the pureness of the moment, of that first listen i get...to all his songs
the introduction i get to all his lyrics...the web of words i'm drawn into
so eloquently
the beats that course throughout my body.

His music heals me..his words soothe me...his lyrics intrigue me
I retreat into a world that is Drake
where its nothing but...
his voice in my earphones
his singing to my ears
his words to my heart...

"Get it understood yeah, it's all good yeah
Girl I know it's real cause I've been around it
You only want whats real you just never found it
Don't give them no more chances, Oh girl they had there turn
Everything for a reason, There's things you had to learn from them
But when I get you to myself
You know what's going down, what's going down" - Drizzy- Practice, Take Care

full moon, 11.11.11

Transparent gray clouds soar quickly over the bright, full moon.
the leaves on nearby trees, dance in the breeze....
rustling...the wind whips...
kisses my cheeks
...envelopes exposed fingertips making them numb, unfamiliar.

i feel the power of the moonlight, shining on me tonight
shining bright....
I feel the pure energy, the manifestation of millions
as i look up at the moon, and breathe deep in though my nose
the moon shines brighter, as if to answer
my call....It answers in lighted illumination,
PERFECTLY timed...again and again when i
concentrate and envision.

The wind grows louder...blows harder....
the Universe speaks
and i earnestly listen.
This is my time, as a LIGHTworker...
as an empath, who can help people.
This is why i soak up the moons energy, and i recharge my own
inner battery with natural MOONLIGHT.

I feel....at one.
Universal oneness....WHOLEness with oneself.
Universal synchronicity, divine intervention
The Universe possesses powers beyond our control...
beyond our mere scope of understanding. Complex depth.

The moon is powerful tonight. You should take 5 minutes
to bask in its light. Breathe deeply and envision the light
course through your mind, body, soul...pure white light.

Come back to center....start over again.
Today is 11.11.11....and the best is about to begin! :)

hello blogger my old friend....

Oh how i've missed thee. Ive been neglecting you....or rather, neglecting ME. Neglecting my chosen outlet, my coping mechanism...my CREATIVITY. Neglecting my writing, my journaling and my blogging {which, may to you sound the same, but each serves it own purpose in the tapestry that is my life}

ive been stifling my voice....merely trying to process my whirlwind thoughts...

Trying to make sense....

...Of what my life was....to the changes i made...to the life i more-recently had....to the reality check i just got. Pulling apart the endlesslyMOVING thought patterns and intertwinedINQUIRIES, the jumbled up nonsense...the circus that was going on in my head. So many questions, so few answers.

Im finally back on solid ground though...i've found my bearings. After having adjusted to the drastic life changes which happened in rapid succession.

The noise in my head is starting to die down....the dust, beginning to settle. The picture is coming into focus...and my perspective is, accurately adjusted :) I see where i've gone wrong....i know what it is i have to learn - the lesson i have to successfully complete.

I am aware.

And now...today...now i embark.

No more holding it in....no more drowning in thoughts - only free love and expression abounds now...understanding ALLOWS now....SO many things.

So....many things <3