The cool breeze kisses my cheeks...and tousles my hair, as i sit in my rocking chair and drink in this glorious day! Today, as i sit....i'm in a peculiar place. A place of conflicting, overloading emotions and feelings. A place somewhat foreign to me because usually when change is upon me, i grab it with both hands and move fully forward, excitedly! This case is rather different though...different in the fact that I am at the complete mercy of the process. Which, is a hard pill to swallow for a control freak like me! lol. My life is either about to change radically, or....it will stay invariably the same. Neither result can i bank on at this point, and i've still got a few weeks left in this stressful process as well.
The process, to make you all aware, is the (short sale) purchase of a beautiful little 3bed/2 bath bungalow in Seminole Heights. It's a short sale, which is really just code for "complete and total pain in the ass", because first the seller has to do their share of the paperwork....then the bank accepts my offer and we do MY part of the paperwork....which is in no way a quick and easy process. I put my original offer in at the end of Oct. 20010. I didnt get my approval on the offer till February 2nd, and we were supposed to close on March 31st, 2011...but here we are a few days from that and more issues have popped up. The appraisal was friday, and while we dont have the final results yet, i think it came in kinda low. My Realtor informed me that there's been an occurrence which could possibly change the deal, but mostly in my favor, so that's a good thing i think. But the bank will have to agree to a lower selling price though, if it didnt appraise at what the loan is for. So...more hassle, new stressors....constant ups and downs. But, im ready. It'll all be worth it to me in a few weeks when im unpacking in my NEW house!
Overall, this process has taught me a lot though. And it helped me realize that i've matured more than i thought i had. I've handled the ups and downs with more grace than usual...and less emotion. Its definitely made me stronger. And, if it doesnt ultimately end up working out, then ill be okay with the fact that that house wasn't it for me...but that there will be one that is!
Another overall problem im facing in this point in time is that there's a lot of instability in my life at the moment. Which is NOT usual. I've been at the same job for 4 years...almost 4 years living here on Duncan....i'm a pretty grounded and settled person. So for my life to be hanging in the balance as it is now, and for it to be totally out of my control as well....is a test of all tests, i swear! In addition to the constant ups and downs with the house...my job just drastically changed as well. Our Director, who'd been there for 7 years, resigned on March 12th, 2011. And her replacement is like night and day. We went from virtually no restrictions/ micro-managing to total rules and regulations, in the matter of 2 weeks. Fast enough to make your head spin, that for sure. We're expected to do more work, but in less time (no OT anymore) Its all just so whacked out and crazy and sudden.
So....uncertainty in life...uncertainty and dislike at the job...instability in certain friendships...its all accumulating. But...i've made it thus far, and i intend to make it to the end. Last woman standing, type shit! I never walk away from a fight...it's just, right now im tired! Worn out, beaten down, stressed out. The constant roller coaster, the uncontrollable variables in this house buying process. Its...a lot to take on & balance.
Hence why i say im standing on the edge of a precipice...teetering on the edge of drastic change, and monotonous normalcy. Im at such a crossroads...a turning point...a NEW fresh chapter stands before me, unwritten. Gloriously MINE for the making! I've just got to hold on a little longer.
Then it'll be full-speed ahead, catapulting into the next stage of life for me. I believe that's why im being tested now. But with optimism, persistence and an indomitable will, i WILL ultimately succeed! Its not a matter of IF, but WHEN. :)
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