Who are you

Who are you?

Are you really the person
That I once knew?

Was that person {I thought I knew}
Really even you?!

A glimmer of a side
At one-time seen

Now an ugly reality
In harsh light, beams.

Words & actions
At odds with one another

Such a beautiful mirage
I had one time discovered…

Only to remain
Remnants of a ghost
In my brain.

digital disconnect

inundation of an intellectual persuasion
each day, all day...we are
force-fed information.

take it in, let some go....
what do you engage in?

it's all up to you,
depending on what it is...
that is your infatuation.

what is this society,
that we now dwell in?

an approval-based, surface-world
where the number of followers you have
directly equates to how important you are
in the genetic make-up of society?

a world where we are so
deeply entangled and entrenched in....
.... voyeurism and watching others' lives
...fall apart.

No one wants to focus inward,
to consult their own darkest demons
and contemplate their deepest fears.

No...no, no, no....we live off, LIVING OFF
other people...
other people's happiness, their struggles
their hurt, pain and tears...

we'd rather watch
"reality television", which should
{more accurately be called "surreal life"}
because that's not REALITY, we're taking in...
that's the Real Housewives of whichever County,
or some other pseudo-reality nonsense...

it's an odd turn of events, to me...
..nowadays people don't truly engage with each other
they safely observe and evaluate from a distance.

No phone calls, just texts...
no letters, just "like"s and 'favorite's.
no personal touch or hug...
just a digital high-five, or
happenstance...a detached
"i see you there"
"i like that thought"
"i give you my social-media following"
and whatever other unspoken, inherently understood
social-networking nod is necessary at the given moment.

it's all so crazy, so cold and technical...
so detached,
this digital disconnect.

Meet me in my dreams...

Somewhere, hidden behind time
the lines unfold....expand
and intertwine.

clarity comes into focus
the questions, unanswered...
....laid to rest.

you just, let it go.

no sense to make of it,
you just KNOW
it was the best thing
you've ever, been a part of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Meet me in my dreams
where the fantasy continues...

and the gleam
of unadulterated happiness
can never be snuffed out.

you will always remain
the best part of what maintained,
the most beauty & wonder
my life..EVER did contain.

a beautiful mirage...
i almost had within grasp
only to vanish, leaving a barrage
of questions in its wake.

questions....never to be met
with answers....

....only to be appreciated,
for what it taught me.

Illuminated wonder...

The moon spoke to me tonight... in all of its
....illuminated wonder.
I drove under its majestic brightness
following like the North Star, it’s guiding light.

Brilliantly filling up the night sky,
It showed me what’s right…..
assured me, all is well in my life.

“Do not fret, my child”
It whispered sweetly...
“All is well in the world; just have faith &….trust it”
{So much easier said, than done}

I feel, the only way to work through emotions
Is to WADE in them.
Drown in them, for a while.
Feel and face them…
So as to work PAST & through them.

Each trial and tribulation…
Builds character and strength.
Each heartbreak,
reminds you you’re ALIVE.

Breathe it in…
The hurt, pain, & happiness,
The memories, the lessons….
The times cherished, always.
The feelings felt, for the 1st time ever….

I was alive.
In that moment, I was incredibly alive
& the world was a beautiful place.

I will cherish it always,
That snippet in time.
That beautiful chaos….
which turned my world upside down.
That lit my soul absolutely on fire…
And turned my mind on multifacetedly.

I will cherish it always...

my heart hurts.

My heart hurts, right now
Literally, aches with pain.
The heaviness in my chest,
makes it laborious to breathe.

Sadness is a giant hand
Squeezing tightly, the circumference of my heart.
Suffocating its regular, healthy beat
Stifling its natural yearn to expand, grow and thrive.

Keeping me held down in darkness…
Lost amongst the sadness,
Drowning in questions and aggravations.
What-if’s and how-come’s….the reality of it all
Still entirely baffling to me.

Knocking the wind right out of me…
Blacking the eye of my soul,
breaking my heart,
leaving me Battered, torn and broken.
In pieces on the floor.

Grasping to be whole again
Reaching, to understand
trying, to make sense
Not understanding why.

Am I being punished?
Is this my karmic reward?
For striving so hard,
To live right all the time…
From being shown something so incredibly amazing
To having it ripped from my hands, in
The blink of an eye?
WHY?
A MILLION TIMES, I ASK
WHY??????

Infinitely Interesting

This new fascination
consumes my mind.

this beautiful thing
I've been blessed with

this person, that i find
infinitely interesting...

this dynamic which is
otherworldly, exotic and rare.

my thoughts run to him
constantly.

My mind stays
consumed,
with ALL aspects of him...
his brilliant mind
his perfect humor
his always-right words
the look in his eyes when he stares at me,
the way his hands feel on me....
the manner in which energy is
*exchanged*, when he touches me.

It's electric, palpable...like nothing
I've EVER experienced.

a smile creeps on my face
at the 1st thought of him,
at the 1st glance at words he's said to me
such perfect, eloquent words.

such an incredibly fulfilling dynamic,
being made to feel genuinely
beautiful & appreciated, all the time.

I am so glad i found this. <3