FULL CIRCLE

Today, May 26th, 2011 has been a good day....a real good day. It started off a little rough, but redeemed itself wholeheartedly by the end <3

I got the chance to come full circle today....i made amends, and cleansed my karma. It felt{/feels} so great! So light and airy...im def breathing easier. Okay....so here's the back-story....

The other day {out of nowhere} i felt pulled to......hmm, 'right a wrong', let's say. So, i scrounged up my big balls, took the 1st step....and reached out to a very big part of my past, a person integral in the sculpting of me {the REAL me}. I knew i had been vengeful, and purposefully spiteful in recent months, and i played power games simply for the ihavepoweroveryou aspect, which is NEVER acceptable. And i still had something of hers too, a Mac computer.....so i knew i had to give it back and clear the air. So, i texted her....and to my surprise, it went better than i thought it would've. Anyways, that's the gist of it.

So today she came over for dinner, and our other 2 friends came too. We went outside to talk alone....and I looked her right in the face, straight in her eyes and explained that, yes...i know i was purposefully hurtful towards her. And, yes.....i played power games simply cause i COULD, cause i had that power...and that i was sorry.

and, you know.....i think that was a necessary step on the path to my future. I feel a weight lifted...and we both expressed that we're 2 totally diff people now than we were years ago...when we'd go round and round, on and off, up and down, all crazy-like! I believe we're both over it {all the hurt from the past} and that we'll both be able to be mature adults and build a solid friendship now. I hope that's how it works out, cause i had kinda missed her freakin funny ass....and she WAS an integral part of making me who i am today. She deserves to see the real, cool, down-to-earth me...the ME of present day....since she put up with the looney-tune-me for so many years. So....def feeling real good right about now. :) At peace, and optimistic for the rest of the opportunities/lessons that are sure to come my way <3

Emotionality

Finding myself in a rather precarious situation these last few days....& particularly tonight i feel more emotional than usual. I think, perhaps, that i've flung open the door to Pandora's box....and in doing that....out came emotions/feelings/desires i hadnt entertained for some time now. Kind of made me feel a lil weak to be overcome with feelings/thoughts reminiscent of the past....so quickly.

But i think this is probably all happening for a reason....and i am purposefully having to confront these emotions right now. I dont like it. Its too much to process, all these up~and~down feelings...in rapid succession like this. ugh.

and now i honestly dont know which way is up. Fuck, man! One day at a time, i guess. Thats how i shall proceed....

And hopefully the payoff will come...after the clarity sets in. For both of us.

the Universe delivers...

New and exciting developments on the home front, y'all! The Universe is SO good....blessing me and providing me with the right things {& people} at the right times. It's so true that when you're not looking for something, it will inevitably fall right into your lap, when you're truly ready for it. Well, perhaps im approaching readiness... {an UBER exciting prospect}

Ill keep you posted.....

Until next time <3

1st night in MY NEW HOUSE!

So, today was moving day! Cinco de Mayo!! It actually went pretty smoothly...the movers were a few hours late, but...it worked to my advantage because i wasnt totally ready @ 9am when they were scheduled to be there anyways. Lol...the Fios guy got there at about 11:30, and he stayed till almost 7!! Had to move 3 out of my four jacks to diff walls, and hook up the internet and do the home phone...but he was cool! A totally dope cable guy! And the movers were cool too, younger guys but REAL efficient. Moving took from 1:05pm till 5:05, and was def quick and painless!

And right now....i sit here comfortably in my bed...and looks around this room , and take it all in! Breathe in the fresh, new-to-me air. Reveling in the gigantic size of this room...in the brightCRISPclearness of my tv&FIOS combo. I really am still in shock, I believe.

It all happened so fast. Closed LATE, late on friday...went to the bank sat morning and got a certified check, then overnighted it to the law firm in St Pete. Then went out of town from sat afternoon till monday evening. Came back late mon. night, worked tues...had cleaning party on tues night, finished cleaning Crenshaw and packing Duncan on wed, and moved thurs...and now, here i am!

A homeowner....a grateful, comfortable, appreciative, blessed, humble homeowner!An exhausted, delirious homeowner as well, but i just HAD to capture this night, this moment. Although im fairly positive i havent dine it justice because im literally deliriously loopy, lol....so, on that note....ill continue this tomorrow/ later today. <3

I am home....home sweet home! <3