I remember that day as if it were just yesterday. It was a slightly overcast
Friday the 13th in Tallahassee. I was at the end of my sophomore year in college...just a
few months past my 20th birthday, and i was going under the knife that morning. Just 20 years old, and having back surgery for 2 herniated disks in my lower lumbar, L4-5, L5-S1.
Now, i wish i had some juicy and exciting story to tell you about how i injured my back. Unfortunately though, i dont....lol. All i can tell you is that one of the herniations was partly calcified, so it was from a previous injury, apparently. And the other (i
suppose) happened when i was visiting my parents in Tampa for Spring break, the night before i was leaving to go back to Tally. It was a sunday night, and i was rooting around in the fridge for something to eat, and i remember feeling a sharp pain, like...something distinct in my lower back. I stood up....stretched and leaned back a lil, you know..that kind that you do to see if you really hurt it or whatev? Yeah, well it was VERY uncomfortable, and...just not right feeling. I remember sleeping with a heating pad under it that night thinking it would help it feel better tomorrow morning, for the lovely 3 1/2 hour drive back to tally that awaited me. Little did i know....heat is theeee wrong thing to put on a herniation.
So the next day, at about the half-way point as im driving my -manual, mind you - up I75, i notice its getting harder and harder to put my feet all the way down on the clutch and the gas. Its becoming harder to apply pressure, and the little pressure i CAN apply, causes intense pain. Each stretch of my legs shoots pain through my lower back and my sciatic. Pain so fierce it brought me to tears. I remember calling my parents crying, hysterical....calling my best friend in Tallahassee & telling her that something was really wrong, and we probably needed to go to the ER once i got into town. I stopped at a Walmart off I10 somewhere, and i remember crying to myself as i labored to walk into that store and buy some pain reliever. I got extra strength liquid-caps of advil...thinking it'd work the quickest. But I took 6 of them just to get through the last hour of that car ride....and it did not TOUCH the pain. That's when i knew something was really wrong.
So Adi meets me at the sorority house and takes me to Tallahassee Memorial (where i was born, btw...cool lil fact!) where i have an MRI and some x-rays done. The surgeon who looked at me was really good, Dr. Charles Wingo. He had done Chris Weinke's surgery, who was the FSU QB that year, so...well-renowned doctor for sure. After the results came back, he told me "if you were my daughter, i'd have you in surgery next week." Apparently the thecal sacs at L4-5, L5-S1 had both ruptured, and were putting pressure on my sciatic nerve and causing all types of inflammation down there. He said i needed to have surgery to remove the ruptured part, then they'd stabilize my core, and because i was young enough, the membranes would regenerate...or something like that. Hahaha...i just know that's how i interpreted it THEN, looking back at it NOW, ten years later...it seems kind of ludicrous. However...i still made it through, it was still a life changing situation. I was looking for my journals tonight from that time period. I know they're here somewhere. I wanted to really be able to recapture my mindset at that time....but, i can at least reminisce and tell my story....
I had to withdraw from school that term. I took 6 months off to recuperate. It was especially hard for me because my family was in Tampa, and there i was.....healing from a MAJOR surgery in Tallahassee, virtually by myself. (Note; 10 years ago, surgery's were not as high-tech, low-intensive/intrusive as they are now. It was a much more invasive process.)
That situation taught me about MYSELF! Not only did it completely change the direction, and lifestyle/speed of my life at the time....it strengthened me, and made me tougher. It challenged me to face the pain! It taught me about addiction...familiarized me with the depths of being an addict, and the struggles of being dependent on pain meds. On the real though, my friends sat me down and actually gave me an intervention. I was off the deep end with it...bad, bad. Ten Perc 10's a day, 4 to 6 Vics on top of that, at my max...there is NO NEED for that much pain medicine daily. No need.
It was a long, hard road back to recovery, in many ways. And i have to say that I lost myself, but i FOUND myself through that process, in the long run.
I had to pretty much teach myself how to DO everything again, because you don't realize just how much you use your back, your CORE, for! In how you lean, sit, stand, rest....you are pretty much always engaging your core muscles/body parts.....imagine having them altered and in unimaginable pain at every movement. Yeah....H-E-L-L to say the least. I had to learn about ergonomic sitting, standing and laying down. I practiced and worked hard to strengthen myself over time.
Ultimately, i prevailed. I learned and gained A LOT from it...on many different levels. I'm grateful to have had the experience. I'm NOT grateful to still sometimes have back pain...BUT, at least i'm in better condition that most 30 y.o. women who've made it ten years past surgery!
Woo-hooo...yay me! :)
{sidenote: blog written 4/13/2011...blog posted 4/14/2011...forgive me, my apologies ;) Oh, and this is taking the place of my A-Z challenge blog for today. H will haaaaaave to wait for tomorrow!} <3
Until then, friends...
Info re: laminectomy
peaceful