my heart hurts.

My heart hurts, right now
Literally, aches with pain.
The heaviness in my chest,
makes it laborious to breathe.

Sadness is a giant hand
Squeezing tightly, the circumference of my heart.
Suffocating its regular, healthy beat
Stifling its natural yearn to expand, grow and thrive.

Keeping me held down in darkness…
Lost amongst the sadness,
Drowning in questions and aggravations.
What-if’s and how-come’s….the reality of it all
Still entirely baffling to me.

Knocking the wind right out of me…
Blacking the eye of my soul,
breaking my heart,
leaving me Battered, torn and broken.
In pieces on the floor.

Grasping to be whole again
Reaching, to understand
trying, to make sense
Not understanding why.

Am I being punished?
Is this my karmic reward?
For striving so hard,
To live right all the time…
From being shown something so incredibly amazing
To having it ripped from my hands, in
The blink of an eye?
WHY?
A MILLION TIMES, I ASK
WHY??????